Enjoy the Journey

This morning I made an observation.  While I carefully made my way from the van to the door trying hard to step in spots with the least amount of snow, my 4 year old was joyfully jumping from one snow drift to another and laughing the whole time.  I realized he was living truly in the moment.  It made me think of this quote from President Hinckley:

"Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride..."

Take time to enjoy the ride today.  Jump in the snow.  Dance in the rain.  Breathe in the fresh air.  And thank the Lord for letting you have it!

"God moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform."

- William Cowper, Hymns #285



This line has been on my mind.  It's true in so many different ways in all of our lives.  So much to be grateful for today.  Things always just work out for the best!

Til we meet again...

I now understand how parting can be such "sweet sorrow". 

My Grandpa passed away this morning after a long, painful battle with cancer. 

I feel glad for his relief, but terribly sad too.

  I will miss him.

He played a big role in my life. 

Goodbye Grandpa.  Til we meet again.

A New Beginning

In case you haven't heard yet, and you probably haven't since Dan is so darn private, we just wanted you t know...

WE GOT A JOB! 

YIPPEE!

This is when you all stand up and dance and cheer.  I can feel it right now!  Thanks for all the support we have had over the past 5 years to get to this point.  But I suppose you are all wondering,

Where in the world will the Coopers move next?

Lest I spoil all the fun too quickly, let's just explore some of the good things about this new community:

1. It's a small town

2. It has an aquatic center (very high on the list for the kids)

3. We may at one point even be able to afford a house here

4. It has forests and prairies and even lakes for fishing - just our kinda place

5. We have been told it has great schools

6. There is a branch with a building right in town.  No long commute to church, very good with kids getting to the ages where they have to be there multiple times every week.

And the good things about Dan's position include:

1. He will be full time permanent.  That means you may not have to play this game again for a while!

2. He will be titled Recreation Therapist II.  This is the highest designation in Alberta Health Services, which means a higher pay scale and it looks good on resumes.

3. He will really learn a whole lot quickly because he will work solo with an assistant.

4. We never thought we would get a job like this right out of school.  It was just a whim that we applied, sort of for fun, "just in case...".  To be offered this chance is slightly unreal, and so totally cool for him.

So now the reveal (drum roll please)

Our new home town will be...

High Prairie, Alberta

Here are a couple of links in case you want to check out where that is.  It's essentially 3.5 hour northwest of Edmonton.  It is 20 minutes from Lesser Slave Lake - the largest lake contained completely within Alberta's boundaries and boasting white sand beaches to enjoy in the summer.  From the shores to the snow, but we're so excited.  And so blessed!

View Larger Map

http://www.highprairie.ca/   Town Website

Break the Cycle...

Everyone should have to live with their parents again once they have kids.  Not for a long time, just a little.  So you can see what parenting things you always hated growing up which you now do to your own children...

Case in point.  I hated school mornings growing up.  It was stressful, busy, and full of little power struggles and blow outs, especially with my dad.  The most famous of these would be the daily arguement over showering - was it necessary everyday?  did they have to be longer than 5 minutes?  This was inevitably folllowed by: Hurry, the bus is here!  You don't have time for _________! (Fill in the blank with whatever we were in the process of doing as the bus pulled into the yard).

You get the picture.

Fast forward 18 years or so.  Me and my own kids now getting ready to get out the door and catch the bus.  Kids being kids and taking their sweet time in the early morning.  Me nagging and pushing, my voice getting a little higher and louder each time. 

"No, you don't have time to eat anymore, we have to go!"

"Get your shoes on - RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm going to the van and if you're not there with me you're in trouble!"

Sound familiar?

Only my kids get the added pleasure of having my dad right there along with me.  Now Dad, don't get me wrong, I appreciate you jumping in and helping out.  It's too hard to do it alone.  But I'm pretty sure stereo sound nagging is not increasing their desire to move faster.  And I'm guilty too.

Gotta find a new way to motivate the morning routine.  Especially on Friday.  I'd like to say I should cut them a bit more slack, but the bus leaves the same time each day, no matter if they make it or not.  And since I'm not driving them into town every day, the natural consequence thing loses its zing.

Back to seeing your parents in yourself.  It's not a bad thing.  It's a good motivation.  And even though I like some of the things I see, there are things I did not like growing up and this experience is definitely helping me remember them and commit to breaking the cycle.  Now I just have to decide which things are worth the battle...

Hug the ones you love today!

We had one of those days yesterday.  One of our children was very grumpy and made some very poor choices resulting in him receiving a severe talking-to and consequences.  Dad was angry, I was upset -

and the child was devestated.

As we left Calgary for home, Dan reminded me to drive safe, a concern born from the tragedies that have occurred in our part of the world over the past week.  As I drove home I had a lot of time to think, since movie players and DS's were engaging the kids.  I kept reflecting on these accidents -

 4 teenagers killed in a rollover in our school's town;

4, possibly 5, teenagers killed by a drunk driver in Grand Prairie this weekend;

a member of our ward in reconstructive facial surgery after a rock came through his windshield and crushed the side of his face. 

10 people whose lives changed or ended in the blink of an eye;

10 families who will never be the same again in this lifetime.

Was a broken stool really my biggest concern?  Eternal perspective is definitely needed here.  Of course, there still needs to be consequences and lessons learned, and no one can turn off their emotions or they'll just have a break down one day, but it's time for me to stop and take a breath before reacting.  I have been so run off my feet lately doing this single-parent thing during the week as well as worrying about Dan finishing school and getting a job and moving somewhere and all that craziness. 

Not enjoying the simple things everyday.

And not treating my family with real charity. 

Elder Marvin J. Ashton beautifully observed: “Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.”

Maybe if I took that to heart a little more I would lessen the chance of regretting my choice of response if something changes in a heart beat.

So hug the ones you love today.  Tell them you love them.  Forgive them a little faster and laugh a little more.  I'm going to try!

Right + Responsibilities = Privileges

It's that time of year again.  We've settled into school and suddenly we have confused what we are entitled to with what we want, and our responsibilities are being neglected.  I know this is an age old problem and hard for kids to understand. 

Heck, it's hard for adults to understand (ie. I can't play on my iPhone all day long and still get paid for work?  I can't buy the house/car/vacation I want right now because I have to pay my bills?  I can't be on Facebook/Blogger all day long and expect my house to clean itself or my children to be parented?You know what I'm talking about.)

Lately the amount of time spent in front of media or playing is far outweighing the amount of shared household duties being done.  Also, ears are suddenly deaf and "one minute" equals about an hour. 

Not good.

Presenting Mom's lecture  lesson #1098756:  Rights + Responsibilities = Privileges.

For those of you who haven't given this one before (and I would have to assume if you haven't you fall under one of four distinct categories: 1. you have no children, 2. your children are under two, 3. you are happy to do everything yourself if they'll just stay quiet and out of your way, or 4. you're not sure how to approach this tricky little situation.)  I will briefly share my soap box.

Lay out the rights and responsibilities for your family.  In ours, these include:

Rights: safe/clean house, clothing, food, a bed, an education, being treated kindly/fairly, being allowed to respectfuly share your opinion.

Responsibilities: keeping the house clean/safe, taking care of clothes, coming for dinner when called and using manners, taking care of your room/things, going to school and working hard to learn, treating others kindly/fairly, listening respectfully to the opinions of others.

(See how those responsibilities mirror our rights?  Pretty sneaky, eh?)

At this point, do what you have to do to lay out your family's plan for the above.  Chore responsibilities, expectations before/after school, manners lesson, obedience, coming when called whatever you feel you need to address.  If you're like me, it could be a lot!  Break it up into several FHE's.  Maybe one week a month to bring up something new.  You want them to feel they can do this!

Next, address the privileges.  Lay them out for them:

Privileges: t.v., computer, video games, playing with friends, owning things, playing with toys etc.

Now it's time to drop the hammer.

RIGHTS + RESPONSIBILITIES = PRIVILEGES

In our home we have a bit of a contract.

Mom and Dad will do their best to provide you with your rights.

You will do your best to uphold your responsibilities.

In return, you may be allowed privileges in moderation.

Simple, right?

Maybe.

Today we are starting a media diet in our home.  Until these rights and responsibilities begin to balance out, all media privileges have been suspended.

I can't wait to tell them after school.

But more on that topic later....

What greater goodness can we know?

What greater goodness can we know than Christlike friends whose gentle ways strengthen our faith, enrich our days?

Each Life That Touches Ours for Good

(LDS Hymns #293)

Friends.  This simple word brings to my mind a multitude of memories - faces, places, laughter, tears.  Throughout my life I have been blessed with good friends who "strengthen my faith, enrich my days".  In each place we have lived I count myself fortunate to have made friends who I still consider sisters, individuals whom, when we meet again, we jump right back in as though we were never apart.

This morning I received an email from one of these friends.  She is dear to me, though we have really only met once.  In some ways it is strange that such a friendship should blossom.  She and her husband were in one of the wards in Dan's mission and he, as a missionary, developed a strong bond with them.  Shortly after we were married we visited and they were kind enough to let us stay in their home.  That was 11 years ago.  I have not seen her since.  She has since had another child, whom I have never met, and her oldest (who was only 4 at the time) is now a vibrant, beautiful young woman. 

Yet somehow we have become friends.  We used to talk on the phone about once every 6 months or so, but now we follow each other's blogs and email back and forth.  It is irregular, but always a joy.  For whatever reason I was blessed to have her come into my life.

Do you ever feel like you must have been friends with someone in the pre-existence?  I often think that our friendships here are just a continuation of something eons older than we can comprehend.

So here's a shout out to all my dear friends over the years - all of you wonderful women who follow my blog and worry for me and laugh at me and with "the gentlest hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

Blogging Bafflement

I CANNOT COMMENT ON ANYONE'S AMAZING BLOGGING EFFORTS.



There.  That's my explanation.  And I've heard it from others. 

Does anyone have the solution?

Blogs I used to regularly comment on now just kick me off to re-sign into my google account, then tell me I can't.

Frustrating.

So, I am here and I am reading and I am enjoying all your thoughts.

Just can't tell you.

(If you set "anonymous" as one of your comment options, then I will give you feedback.

It's the only way it works.)

Does anyone else feel my pain????

Roasts and Toasts

I saw this in the paper down here and thought it was an ingenious idea.  It's simple - you can "roast" things or people that you are disappointed in and "toast" those that are exceptional.  Here are my own for today:

Roast: The nurse at the home where my grandparents reside.  The reason my grandma tells you "stories" is because she has Alzheimer's.  Her stories are her reality.  Do you know anything about elderly people with dementia?  Maybe this is not your calling in life.

Toast: My sister for going to the auto wreckers and picking up a new oil cap to replace the one missing from my van.  With her two little ones in tow.  Much thanks!

Creating and Exploring

Last weekend the boys made a cat chalet for the felines.  It started out as a box with a roof and turned into a work of art.

Clay used the project as part of a cub badge.  He learned to use the cut saw and the air gun nailer.  Pretty proud of himself!

The whole gang of boys

Malcolm and Spencer and I went on an adventure to see what lays beyond Grandma's yard.  Here they are in front of the bee hives...

...and by the old spill gates on the 9 mile canal

Pretending we are on the African Savannah.  The fox tail grass is really long this fall, and very soft.  When they got out into it and sat down I couldn't even see them!

"Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower." Albert Camus

Autumn is by far my favorite season.  Possibly because it is the time of year I was born, but more because of the crispness in the air and the urgency to get things done before the weather turns.  My time for resolutions is always in the fall.  I feel anything is possible and things are just beginning.  (There could also be a link to the start of school years here...)  Spring is lovely, but too wet and muddy with only a smattering of flowers coming around.  Summer is great, but I tend to abhor the heat and bugs.  Winter - well, what can I say about that except hot chocolate and Christmas?  Autumn - alive and warm and full of change!


Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. ~Stanley Horowitz



Sure signs that summer is over (and that it's been successful):

1. You cannot possibly imagine having to eat another hamburger, hot dog, piece of watermelon, ice cream treat, jello salad, etc. etc. etc.
2. The thought of putting on your swimsuit and gathering up all the gear sends you running for cover.
3. The lawn is starting to look pretty good an inch or so longer.
4. You're glad when it's time to pull up the pea and bean plants and rototill the ground.
5. It's a relief that darkness comes around at 8:00.  Now we can catch up on some sleep!

Summer is so busy, let's ring in a warm, fabulously colorful autumn.  Bring it on!

Oh how we love pumpkin season. You did know this gourd-ish squash has its own season, right? Winter, Spring, Summer, Pumpkin.... We anxiously anticipate it every year. ~Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer, October 2010


(I LOVE PUMPKINS)

October's poplars are flaming torches lighting the way to winter. ~Nova Bair

Ummm...

Hi.  I am still here.  I am just uninteresting.  Or uninterested, you choose. 

Uploading my photos this summer turned out to be a much too complicated endeavor for me and, frankly, I was much happier spending my time in the sunshine than holed up in front of my screen. 

Eventually I may get around to it, but really, it's kinda late, don't ya think?

I am creeping up on the big 3-5 this week.  I am in many ways amazed to think that I have walked this earth for that long.  It feels like a heart beat in many ways, yet soooo much has happened in that time.

More amazing is my parent's celebrating their 36th anniversary on Tuesday.  Wow.  In the midst of all the changes and transition we are experiencing it gives me great inspiration to watch them tackle all of life's curve balls together and still be, well, together. 

I was thinking of this today.  All the things they've held on through.

Deaths (particularly of a child).

Financial stress.

Family stress.

Children aging.

Parents aging.

Broken lawn mowers.

Problematic septic fields.

Car "accidents".

Hopes and dreams not realized.

It doesn't end just because we get older and "grow up".

But, lest you think their life is miserable, there's a lot of good to brighten up the lows.

Marriages.

Grandkids.

Having work.

Missions.

All the kids home to visit.

A beautiful yard as a result of some really hard work together.

Good friends.

Oh, and all the above negativities just having a way of working out.

I see now the truth in Marjorie Hinckley's statement:

"Sometimes the pattern of life seems a little monotonous - and discouraging.  It is like climbing a mountain and, after reaching the top, getting knocked back down to the bottom to climb it again; but I guess the fun is in climbing and not in arriving.  I hope so!"

Maybe we spend a lot of  our lives uninterested.  Just surviving.  Waiting for the better times to come along.  When really they're right here with us.

Thanks Mom and Dad for helping me see that life is made up of all these things, big and little. 

36 years.  I hope my marriage is full of mountains by the time I get there.  It will make it all the more exciting to look back on, won't it?

Back to School

It's that time of year again.  I am usually ready for it, and I have to admit that the kids were getting at each other's throats (and mine) for the last week or so, but back to school was bittersweet for me this year.  We had a great summer seeing so many of our friends and family, swimming, travelling, camping, working in the yard and just plain running free.  It's hard to face the reality of schedules and bedtimes and, well, the end of summer.  It has been cold and rainy all three days of school so in a lot of ways it feels like autumn has come in full force.

The kids are riding the bus to and from school for the very first time.  I think it is the highlight of their day - for now.  I'm sure the extra hour and a half added on their school day will start to wear on them eventually.  It's good for us though as we are never late for school! (gasp, looks of shock inserted here)  And it forces us all up at 6:30 every morning.  They are the first stop in the morning and the last stop at night.  The kids get on the bus at 7:38, and aren't home until 4:15.  Quite a change from Port Moody where school started at 9:00 and they were home at 2:45.  Makes for a lot longer time they are away.  Two days a week I will have everyone at the school in the mornings - 4 hours all to myself!  I will let you know how beautiful that is at a later date.

Madi and Clay have had great fun reacquainting themselves with their old school and old friends.  One boy said to Madi, "Madison?  You have changed!" and another greeted her with, "Madi! Look guys, it's my third cousin twice removed!"  Amazing how they remember these things.

Things are good right now.  We are trying to make the best of this temporary situation and enjoy the next 4 months.  After that anything can happen...

In your dreams...

I just read a blog post about which Harry Potter man is for you.  Hmm...I have yet to find myself swooning over any of them.  My mother said the other day that she could watch anything with Matthew McConaughey, and Dan's mom has a real thing for Nicholas Cage (there is no accounting for taste.  Hee hee).  Still, it got me pondering (in a really pleasant sort of way) about my favorite movie eye candy.  And the winners are...



Viggo.  He's basically the reason I've seen this movie about 500 times.




Johnny.  I have loved this man since I saw him in Crybaby a hundred years ago.  The bonus to my kids loving the Pirates movies is that I get to watch him.



Ahh, Hugh.  Even Australia was made watchable by this fine specimen.



Christian Bale.  I watched Reign of Fire last night.  Total snoozeville without him to keep my interest.



Russell only makes the list for historical pieces.  Otherwise, I am ambivalent.



What list of this nature is complete without Mr. D'Arcy?  Thank you, Colin, for setting this unachievable standard for men the world over.


Alright, I realize that most of the members of my list have an accent.  I think that might be the real turn on, especially since I was just debating Sean Connery.

Who tops yours?

Random Thoughts Update

I have not written much this summer.  I find I do not spend very much time near a computer, not like in the city.  I have too much to occupy my time otherwise.  (That was three sentences with the word 'much'.  Sorry.  Terrible writing.)  I realize being back home how I love concrete, physical work.  I have been rolling steel with my dad, weeding gardens, cleaning the house, and even helping to fix the lawn mower.  It feels good to see the end result of your labors.

 
 In my profession, I spend all day convincing people that what we are doing really does make a difference and it is worth their time to follow my advice, not mention worth their money to come in often.  When I roll steel with my dad the customers choose their steel for a project they see happen and weigh out whether or not it is in their budget.  No 'improve you life, improve your health' message there.  Just a matter of priorities and good business.  I suppose that is why I have been away from social networking for a while.  There's so much more to do here to keep my hands and mind occupied! 



Add to that an attempt to make this a good summer for my kids and we are always on the go.  It's also very different actually having family and friends around to talk to at any given time.  I suppose I have more opportunities to speak my mind, rather than write it. 



But I do miss blogging.  It is essentially my journal.  And I do miss hearing more from those of you out there who are also busy during these short summer months!  (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).



Vanity, thy name is...



On another topic, my sister-in-law was sharing her experience in the doctor's office waiting room.  She has recently moved back to Alberta from Ontario.  There she sat - 17 months pregnant, no makeup, hair pulled up, feeling awful, three kids in tow (one in stripes and plaid and another wearing one flip flop and one boot) - a typical outing.  Suddenly someone caught her eye and said hello.  A man who used to be the boy she played with as a child.  He had not changed a bit.  Still very handsome, neatly put together.  She said she found herself telling him she was 20 weeks pregnant and trying to explain away the look of herself and kids and wishing she had simply made herself up a little more that morning. 



I laughed and shared my similar experience - only in the pool in Raymond.  There I was in all my suited up glory, kids in tow and white, fleshy legs and arms glowing when a man who was once a boy in my younger years called out to me and wanted to catch up.  I wish I could remember what he said more than how much I wished I had managed to follow through on that diet and exercise plan for the last 2...5...10 years.  He, of course, seemed exactly the same as I remember him.

p.s.  This is not me.  I will not subject anyone to the sight of me in a bikini

Then we laughed.  How vain!  We are both married to wonderful men who really couldn't care less how we look at the doctor's office or the pool, who have been through 4 children with us and who support and love us not matter what.  Yet we both succumbed to the insecurities of appearance.  I'm pretty sure these happily married men could not have cared less what we looked like.  They were simply trying to be friendly.  Trust me, if looks were an issue they probably would have continued right by....



My sister's 10 year high school reunion is this weekend.  She is not going.  Does not care one bit.  I remember mine.  I also realize my 20 year is in three years.  That's right - 2014.  Will I go?  Will I set that as my weight loss date?  (hee hee).  Do the opinions of people I spent every school day for 12 years with matter to me then?  I have to admit it did a little bit 7 years ago.  I thought I was over that, but the above story shows that maybe I am not.

Did you go to your reunion?  Did it matter to you what people from the past thought about you?