Right + Responsibilities = Privileges

It's that time of year again.  We've settled into school and suddenly we have confused what we are entitled to with what we want, and our responsibilities are being neglected.  I know this is an age old problem and hard for kids to understand. 

Heck, it's hard for adults to understand (ie. I can't play on my iPhone all day long and still get paid for work?  I can't buy the house/car/vacation I want right now because I have to pay my bills?  I can't be on Facebook/Blogger all day long and expect my house to clean itself or my children to be parented?You know what I'm talking about.)

Lately the amount of time spent in front of media or playing is far outweighing the amount of shared household duties being done.  Also, ears are suddenly deaf and "one minute" equals about an hour. 

Not good.

Presenting Mom's lecture  lesson #1098756:  Rights + Responsibilities = Privileges.

For those of you who haven't given this one before (and I would have to assume if you haven't you fall under one of four distinct categories: 1. you have no children, 2. your children are under two, 3. you are happy to do everything yourself if they'll just stay quiet and out of your way, or 4. you're not sure how to approach this tricky little situation.)  I will briefly share my soap box.

Lay out the rights and responsibilities for your family.  In ours, these include:

Rights: safe/clean house, clothing, food, a bed, an education, being treated kindly/fairly, being allowed to respectfuly share your opinion.

Responsibilities: keeping the house clean/safe, taking care of clothes, coming for dinner when called and using manners, taking care of your room/things, going to school and working hard to learn, treating others kindly/fairly, listening respectfully to the opinions of others.

(See how those responsibilities mirror our rights?  Pretty sneaky, eh?)

At this point, do what you have to do to lay out your family's plan for the above.  Chore responsibilities, expectations before/after school, manners lesson, obedience, coming when called whatever you feel you need to address.  If you're like me, it could be a lot!  Break it up into several FHE's.  Maybe one week a month to bring up something new.  You want them to feel they can do this!

Next, address the privileges.  Lay them out for them:

Privileges: t.v., computer, video games, playing with friends, owning things, playing with toys etc.

Now it's time to drop the hammer.

RIGHTS + RESPONSIBILITIES = PRIVILEGES

In our home we have a bit of a contract.

Mom and Dad will do their best to provide you with your rights.

You will do your best to uphold your responsibilities.

In return, you may be allowed privileges in moderation.

Simple, right?

Maybe.

Today we are starting a media diet in our home.  Until these rights and responsibilities begin to balance out, all media privileges have been suspended.

I can't wait to tell them after school.

But more on that topic later....