Til we meet again...

I now understand how parting can be such "sweet sorrow". 

My Grandpa passed away this morning after a long, painful battle with cancer. 

I feel glad for his relief, but terribly sad too.

  I will miss him.

He played a big role in my life. 

Goodbye Grandpa.  Til we meet again.

A New Beginning

In case you haven't heard yet, and you probably haven't since Dan is so darn private, we just wanted you t know...

WE GOT A JOB! 

YIPPEE!

This is when you all stand up and dance and cheer.  I can feel it right now!  Thanks for all the support we have had over the past 5 years to get to this point.  But I suppose you are all wondering,

Where in the world will the Coopers move next?

Lest I spoil all the fun too quickly, let's just explore some of the good things about this new community:

1. It's a small town

2. It has an aquatic center (very high on the list for the kids)

3. We may at one point even be able to afford a house here

4. It has forests and prairies and even lakes for fishing - just our kinda place

5. We have been told it has great schools

6. There is a branch with a building right in town.  No long commute to church, very good with kids getting to the ages where they have to be there multiple times every week.

And the good things about Dan's position include:

1. He will be full time permanent.  That means you may not have to play this game again for a while!

2. He will be titled Recreation Therapist II.  This is the highest designation in Alberta Health Services, which means a higher pay scale and it looks good on resumes.

3. He will really learn a whole lot quickly because he will work solo with an assistant.

4. We never thought we would get a job like this right out of school.  It was just a whim that we applied, sort of for fun, "just in case...".  To be offered this chance is slightly unreal, and so totally cool for him.

So now the reveal (drum roll please)

Our new home town will be...

High Prairie, Alberta

Here are a couple of links in case you want to check out where that is.  It's essentially 3.5 hour northwest of Edmonton.  It is 20 minutes from Lesser Slave Lake - the largest lake contained completely within Alberta's boundaries and boasting white sand beaches to enjoy in the summer.  From the shores to the snow, but we're so excited.  And so blessed!

View Larger Map

http://www.highprairie.ca/   Town Website

Break the Cycle...

Everyone should have to live with their parents again once they have kids.  Not for a long time, just a little.  So you can see what parenting things you always hated growing up which you now do to your own children...

Case in point.  I hated school mornings growing up.  It was stressful, busy, and full of little power struggles and blow outs, especially with my dad.  The most famous of these would be the daily arguement over showering - was it necessary everyday?  did they have to be longer than 5 minutes?  This was inevitably folllowed by: Hurry, the bus is here!  You don't have time for _________! (Fill in the blank with whatever we were in the process of doing as the bus pulled into the yard).

You get the picture.

Fast forward 18 years or so.  Me and my own kids now getting ready to get out the door and catch the bus.  Kids being kids and taking their sweet time in the early morning.  Me nagging and pushing, my voice getting a little higher and louder each time. 

"No, you don't have time to eat anymore, we have to go!"

"Get your shoes on - RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm going to the van and if you're not there with me you're in trouble!"

Sound familiar?

Only my kids get the added pleasure of having my dad right there along with me.  Now Dad, don't get me wrong, I appreciate you jumping in and helping out.  It's too hard to do it alone.  But I'm pretty sure stereo sound nagging is not increasing their desire to move faster.  And I'm guilty too.

Gotta find a new way to motivate the morning routine.  Especially on Friday.  I'd like to say I should cut them a bit more slack, but the bus leaves the same time each day, no matter if they make it or not.  And since I'm not driving them into town every day, the natural consequence thing loses its zing.

Back to seeing your parents in yourself.  It's not a bad thing.  It's a good motivation.  And even though I like some of the things I see, there are things I did not like growing up and this experience is definitely helping me remember them and commit to breaking the cycle.  Now I just have to decide which things are worth the battle...

Hug the ones you love today!

We had one of those days yesterday.  One of our children was very grumpy and made some very poor choices resulting in him receiving a severe talking-to and consequences.  Dad was angry, I was upset -

and the child was devestated.

As we left Calgary for home, Dan reminded me to drive safe, a concern born from the tragedies that have occurred in our part of the world over the past week.  As I drove home I had a lot of time to think, since movie players and DS's were engaging the kids.  I kept reflecting on these accidents -

 4 teenagers killed in a rollover in our school's town;

4, possibly 5, teenagers killed by a drunk driver in Grand Prairie this weekend;

a member of our ward in reconstructive facial surgery after a rock came through his windshield and crushed the side of his face. 

10 people whose lives changed or ended in the blink of an eye;

10 families who will never be the same again in this lifetime.

Was a broken stool really my biggest concern?  Eternal perspective is definitely needed here.  Of course, there still needs to be consequences and lessons learned, and no one can turn off their emotions or they'll just have a break down one day, but it's time for me to stop and take a breath before reacting.  I have been so run off my feet lately doing this single-parent thing during the week as well as worrying about Dan finishing school and getting a job and moving somewhere and all that craziness. 

Not enjoying the simple things everyday.

And not treating my family with real charity. 

Elder Marvin J. Ashton beautifully observed: “Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.”

Maybe if I took that to heart a little more I would lessen the chance of regretting my choice of response if something changes in a heart beat.

So hug the ones you love today.  Tell them you love them.  Forgive them a little faster and laugh a little more.  I'm going to try!

Right + Responsibilities = Privileges

It's that time of year again.  We've settled into school and suddenly we have confused what we are entitled to with what we want, and our responsibilities are being neglected.  I know this is an age old problem and hard for kids to understand. 

Heck, it's hard for adults to understand (ie. I can't play on my iPhone all day long and still get paid for work?  I can't buy the house/car/vacation I want right now because I have to pay my bills?  I can't be on Facebook/Blogger all day long and expect my house to clean itself or my children to be parented?You know what I'm talking about.)

Lately the amount of time spent in front of media or playing is far outweighing the amount of shared household duties being done.  Also, ears are suddenly deaf and "one minute" equals about an hour. 

Not good.

Presenting Mom's lecture  lesson #1098756:  Rights + Responsibilities = Privileges.

For those of you who haven't given this one before (and I would have to assume if you haven't you fall under one of four distinct categories: 1. you have no children, 2. your children are under two, 3. you are happy to do everything yourself if they'll just stay quiet and out of your way, or 4. you're not sure how to approach this tricky little situation.)  I will briefly share my soap box.

Lay out the rights and responsibilities for your family.  In ours, these include:

Rights: safe/clean house, clothing, food, a bed, an education, being treated kindly/fairly, being allowed to respectfuly share your opinion.

Responsibilities: keeping the house clean/safe, taking care of clothes, coming for dinner when called and using manners, taking care of your room/things, going to school and working hard to learn, treating others kindly/fairly, listening respectfully to the opinions of others.

(See how those responsibilities mirror our rights?  Pretty sneaky, eh?)

At this point, do what you have to do to lay out your family's plan for the above.  Chore responsibilities, expectations before/after school, manners lesson, obedience, coming when called whatever you feel you need to address.  If you're like me, it could be a lot!  Break it up into several FHE's.  Maybe one week a month to bring up something new.  You want them to feel they can do this!

Next, address the privileges.  Lay them out for them:

Privileges: t.v., computer, video games, playing with friends, owning things, playing with toys etc.

Now it's time to drop the hammer.

RIGHTS + RESPONSIBILITIES = PRIVILEGES

In our home we have a bit of a contract.

Mom and Dad will do their best to provide you with your rights.

You will do your best to uphold your responsibilities.

In return, you may be allowed privileges in moderation.

Simple, right?

Maybe.

Today we are starting a media diet in our home.  Until these rights and responsibilities begin to balance out, all media privileges have been suspended.

I can't wait to tell them after school.

But more on that topic later....

What greater goodness can we know?

What greater goodness can we know than Christlike friends whose gentle ways strengthen our faith, enrich our days?

Each Life That Touches Ours for Good

(LDS Hymns #293)

Friends.  This simple word brings to my mind a multitude of memories - faces, places, laughter, tears.  Throughout my life I have been blessed with good friends who "strengthen my faith, enrich my days".  In each place we have lived I count myself fortunate to have made friends who I still consider sisters, individuals whom, when we meet again, we jump right back in as though we were never apart.

This morning I received an email from one of these friends.  She is dear to me, though we have really only met once.  In some ways it is strange that such a friendship should blossom.  She and her husband were in one of the wards in Dan's mission and he, as a missionary, developed a strong bond with them.  Shortly after we were married we visited and they were kind enough to let us stay in their home.  That was 11 years ago.  I have not seen her since.  She has since had another child, whom I have never met, and her oldest (who was only 4 at the time) is now a vibrant, beautiful young woman. 

Yet somehow we have become friends.  We used to talk on the phone about once every 6 months or so, but now we follow each other's blogs and email back and forth.  It is irregular, but always a joy.  For whatever reason I was blessed to have her come into my life.

Do you ever feel like you must have been friends with someone in the pre-existence?  I often think that our friendships here are just a continuation of something eons older than we can comprehend.

So here's a shout out to all my dear friends over the years - all of you wonderful women who follow my blog and worry for me and laugh at me and with "the gentlest hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

Blogging Bafflement

I CANNOT COMMENT ON ANYONE'S AMAZING BLOGGING EFFORTS.



There.  That's my explanation.  And I've heard it from others. 

Does anyone have the solution?

Blogs I used to regularly comment on now just kick me off to re-sign into my google account, then tell me I can't.

Frustrating.

So, I am here and I am reading and I am enjoying all your thoughts.

Just can't tell you.

(If you set "anonymous" as one of your comment options, then I will give you feedback.

It's the only way it works.)

Does anyone else feel my pain????