Over time, I have made my own revision to this. In my experience, bedtime is most definitely Arsenic Hour in our home. What should be a lovely, calm, bonding time is exactly the opposite - loud, crazy, and set to drive even the most loving of family members apart. The reasons for this are many. Since having Madison almost 9 years ago, I have been the primary bedtime heavy as Dan has worked or gone to school at night pretty much the entire 8 1/2 years. Sometimes I think I have got it nailed down, and then everything changes.
I used to put the three boys in the same room, since that is where all the beds are and Madison, being a girl, justifiably deserved her own sleeping space. Putting 3 boys to bed in the same bunkbed is akin to holding back the tide. Once that was obviously not working, we had two pairs: each older child with a younger child. The theory behind this was that, beginning with the youngest, I would gently take each child and help them get into bed and sleeping while believing firmly that the others could manage to remain quiet. It would be perfect. Yeah, right. I had to leave the bedroom so many times to calm everything down outside that there was no chance of sleeping occurring for anyone. Not to mention that if the younger children had a tough night, the whole thing is shot because the older kids felt they couldn't go into their own beds. This was, of course, very true.
Because we are short on space, for a while we were resorting to just finding a spot for everyone to be on their own - my room, their rooms, the couch. But then I got tired of having to wait for everyone to fall asleep before folding laundry, watching t.v. or simply going to bed. And then I had to move them all to their own rooms, and I'm not as strong as I used to be.
Currently, we have the two younger boys going to bed first in the bunkbed while the older two "read quietly" in the other room. My arsenic hour drags out a lot longer because it is necessary for me to stay with the younger kids until they are sleeping since they will continue to come out until they have dropped on the floor in exhaustion if I do not. This is all to the increasing crescendo of laughter and screaming in the background from the older kids in the other room, mixed in with broken-record requests for food, water, bathroom breaks. By the time I have the little ones out, I am so stressed out I usually just give the older ones what for and turn out the light, retreating with threats of what will happen to them if I see or hear them one more time before morning. Like I said, arsenic seems like a pretty convenient solution at this point.
But by morning it has all blown over and we have one, two, maybe all three boys who have made their way to our bed just to say good morning and snuggle under the covers, and I remember that it's not about silently and obediently making it to bed at exactly the allotted time. It's about your kids knowing that you are there to read stories, sing songs, kiss them goodnight and that you are ready to listen if the chance to speak quietly come along. Because along with the chaos, bedtime has also been the time when my kids open up about a variety of amazing things. We've discussed Jesus making stars, missing grandma and grandpa, friends who make us happy and friends who make us hurt, how long ago dinosaurs lived, what it would be like to live on the moon, and what we want to be when we grow up. I've heard prayers for everyone from Uncle Steve on his mission to pet worms and missing stuffies. And no amount of arsenic could ever replace an unprompted I love you from your seven year old son whom you were pretty sure forgot you have feelings too.
And the old adage is true - they are so beautiful...when they're asleep!
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