Meanest mom in the whole world?

This past week I have earned the notorious title of Meanest Mom in the Whole World.  This award was bestowed upon me by my four seemingly lovely children, who may just earn the reciprocal joint award of Whiniest Children and Most-Hard-Done-By Under 10. 

Just how did I manage to vault myself to such a lofty position with so many other loving, well-meaning mothers who have come before me?  Well, unbeknownst to me, this does not require anything more than one simple thing: actual parenting.  Not just being around in the background while your children plan and carry out their own random acts of thoughtlessness, but actually getting up off the couch, turning off the tv, putting down the very exciting and almost finished mystery novel, and getting-down-and-dirty-in-the-trenches parenting.

Some of the steps that have helped me achieve such bleak fame? 
1. Making them not only clean their own bedrooms (and help each other with someone else's things), but giving them other chores around the house which may or may not have been a direct result of their own actions, but simply what needs to be done that day. Oh, and insisting that these chores be done BEFORE going out to play.
2. Requiring that they obtain permission before vanishing into the wide open world outside, compounded by making them stay in for one hour when said permission was not granted and the child was nowhere to be found.
3. Not allowing any of the following amongst them OR their friends (10 extra points there): hitting rocks with tennis rackets at the pool windows, climbing on the garbage dumpsters, climbing the storage shed, riding bikes without helmets, riding bikes onto roads without stopping, street skeleton on skateboards without any protective gear, dropping freezie wrappers on the playground, excluding others, name calling, swearing, truth/dare with sexual intonations, punching, kicking, biting, or any other type of physical violence, and leaving the complex without speaking to their parents.  (Is this a complex with kids 10 and under, or juvie?)
4. Enforcing quiet time for 1 hour every day with no media or friends.
5. Requiring that meals be eaten together, at the table, talking to each other, with no t.v. - and everyone stays until it's all cleaned up.  No inhaling of tiny morsels of food before returning to the chaos that is summer childhood.
6. Asking that the living room be tidy before the television is turned on.
7. Limiting computer/game time to 1/2 an hour a person per day.
8. Signing a 7 year old boy up for the library summer reading program when he had no intention of using his brain once this summer (as you can already decipher for yourself).
9. Waking up an 8 year old girl by at least 8:30 every day with no regard for her "essential beauty sleep".
10. Limiting mini-freezies to 4 per person per day and still insisting that teeth are brushed before bed.  This is also where I should mention that I refuse to take them to 7-11 for a slurpee and penny candy everyday - shock and dismay!
11. Enforcing inside curfew at 8:30 every night whether it's light, dark, hot or cold.
12. Not allowing them to fall asleep to a movie every night, even if it is easier for everyone involved.

I'm sure my nomination list could go on and on and on....I know right now they think they hate me, but one day they'll thank me, right?  To all those who have gone before and survived, promise me that one day the title of Meanest Mom in the World will be removed and replaced with The Mom who Loved Me Enough to Be There, or something of the sort.  I know that's my sentiment exactly, but I guess it too me 30 years to get there.  Only 22 more to go for my own munchkins to start believing it....