My Life with Boys...

I grew up with sisters, except my little brother who was 13 years younger. so I was gone before he really got involved.  Anyone with sisters knows about cat fights - mean words, the silent treatment, exclusion, maybe someone got their hair pulled or earned a scratch.

I am now a mother of mainly boys - 3 lovely, very boyish boys. I have had to learn that boys fight very different from girls.  Sure, exclusion and cruel words come into it, but boy fights escalate to violence at a much quicker rate. Girls use words and/or silence, boys duke it out.(Side note here: girl fights last forever. Once boys swing it's usually over.)

Last night Clay and Mac got into it over something trivial - lego, I think. Before I knew it, they had each grabbed a cutting board (plastic and flimsy, not hard) off the counter and made their strike.  I pulled them apart and gave them the look. Fast forward one minute: one kicks the other, the other kicks back, one throws a punch at the arm...Mom rushes in and tears them apart, taking one out of the kitchen to cool off.

Meanwhile...

The other was standing on a small step stool through all of this and lost his balance grabbing at whatever was on the counter in an effort to stop his momentum toward the ground.

That item was my deep fryer.

Oil.

Everywhere.

This is the point where mom gives herself a time out while the boys run for cover.

Oh, and dad came in from shovelling the snow in -40 weather.  Not happy.

An hour of clean up and two boys in their beds later we were able to discuss the consequences.

Today there was no school.  First, these lovely boys got to sit with mom and read scriptures about not having contention in the home, loving others like the Savior does and the Golden Rule.  Then they were able to discuss with each other what they each could have done differently last night, as well as come up with a plan for future discipline relating to cruelty and violence in our home. Then they got the talk about what happens to people who can't control their tempers when they grow up.

(Side note 2: making boys talk to each other is almost worse for them than just punishing them. It was a very torturous half hour.)

After the discussion, they were assigned jobs to complete together. Two reasons: first, to make up for the hour I spent cleaning the kitchen floor and counters last night; second, to learn to get along.  Because therein was the catch.  They were not done working til they could work without fighting or biting remarks.

I've never had a cleaner pantry, more folded laundry or beautifully shovelled walks/driveway than I do today.

I grew up a child with sisters.

I am now a mom of boys.

Maybe one day I'll figure this out...

Soft, and ok with it!

I was accused of being "soft" today for allowing Clayton to stay home. Why? His regular teacher is out for 3 weeks with surgery. They have had a sub in now for two weeks. This morning he refused to get out of bed and was near tears when he explained his sub yells at them and refuses to do much more than hand out the work sheets. She also told all of those precious grade fours that it had been a long couple of weeks and that while some of them she could handle, there are a number of them she can't. How's that for your self esteem?

And so yes, much to the disappontment of Dan's aide, i let him take a day off. In her opinion we need to learn early to just stick it out.

Hmmm. So oyr kids should learn young that adults have the power to demean and belittle them? That emotional and psychological abuse in any form is ok if it comes from someone in a position of authority? That you should just put up and shut up to maintain the apoearance of peace?

No thanks. I only wish he had the forum to vouce his concerns and advocate for all the kids in his class. To be able to say "when you yell at us it does not help us be better, it only make us resent you more!"

So if I'm soft for wanting to give my child a day of refuge from the storms of life, so be it. The love and respect he feels from his dad and I will resonate far further into the future than anything he might miss out on at school today - especially the yelling.

Where can i start a movement toward quality teaching in this public school system that only seems to squeeze the life and happiness out of our kids?

New Beginning Hits Full Swing

What a week!  After making an unplanned trip down south during the holidays (which was great) and coming home with Dad and 2 kids sick, the transition back to routine has been chaotic.  Piano lessons are back in full swing and we're desperately trying to reimplement regular bedtime/wake time.  Finally starting to turn last night.  But I'm sure that is the same boat as everyone.

In the middle of it all the Branch Presidency decided to ask me to head up the primary as its president.  And start cubs.  And try to be to church 15 minutes early to play 10 minutes of prelude. And say a talk in two weeks.  And plan the sacrament meeting music for the year. I have to admit I almost cried.  I feel so out of control in my own home I don't know how they think I'm gonna run that chaos.

Deep breath.

One step at a time.  This week I will just start by planning a sharing time and a senior primary class. And we will try to have scriptures before bed at least twice.  And we have had family prayer every day.  And I will try to keep my voice down - at least for the rest of the day.  Oh, and maybe I will put the hymn numbers up on Saturday night instead of in the morning.

15 minutes early for church?  That might take a little more time...

Hold your kids a little tighter today...

As I was giving myself a pity party for having 4 kids home with stomach flu all week and no time to myself, I heard the news about a Connecticut Elementary school.  Possibly 18 children killed at the hands of someone who probably had no connection to them at all. And early news indicates it involved a kindergarten class.

Those poor parents.  My heart aches for them. 

Maybe I will stop whining about cleaning up puke and hold my little ones a little longer today.

Time with them is too precious to waste.

Dan as Santa

There was no one available to act the part last night, so the role of Santa went to Dan.  Here are some pics we can use to blackmail him later.  Have a good laugh at the one that makes him look like a demented clown.  What a good sport!

Still Here...

Apparently my parents are concerned that we are still alive.  Maybe some of you blog followers are too?  It's pretty nice to think anyone out there cares that much about us!

Well, we're still here.  And very busy, like everyone else.  Or maybe I haven't written much because not too much has been happening that felt worthy of chronicling.  I still get kids and hubby out the door every morning, volunteer at school, teach piano Tues-Thurs, cajole kids into doing chores and reading and piano practicing, go to church, read, play piano, make too many puzzles in this cold weather, and spend too much time on pinterest.

As for anything new, I have a piano Christmas concert coming up on Friday.  Hopefully all the kids are ready (I think they are!).  Dan's Festival of Trees is this week and Friday can't come soon enough as far as that is concerned.  It has snowed for almost 2 weeks straight, so we are doing LOTS of shovelling.  Thank goodness for a great neighbor with a snow blower!

And I am hooked on Sherlock from the BBC.  Unfortunately, no new seasons til next fall!

So there's a quick update. And hi mom!

The Parable of the Wide Load

We have been looking for learning opportunities with our kids and the Lord pretty much dropped one in my lap today.  We had to get to the dentist and, with the roads being less than ideal, we left a little early.  And found ourselves behind a very wide load (see above pic, sorry for the quality).  Someone was in the process of moving an entire house.  It was wider than the highway, so not only did opposing trafffic have to pull off and let it by, they had to stop whenever there was sign in the way and move it.

Very slooooooow....

Thinking we could possibly beat the house, we turned off and took a detour around the country mile block.  We felt pretty smart and smug.

Until we got to the highway again.

There sat the house completely obstructing our approach, and, to add salt to the wound, they were allowing all the traffic that had been following the chance to go around.

As we sat waiting I asked the kids what we could learn from this.

Patience was the big answer.

But we took it even further.

Sometimes in life you have to make choices regarding which path you are going to take.  Will you stay on the road you're on - the one that looks long and difficult, where the end is unsure?

Or will you take a detour on the road that appears to be faster, easier, the more sure thing.

Chances are it isn't all it's cracked up to be.  And here's the kicker - you generally end up right back where you started having only taken the scenic route.

And that, my friends, is now our family's "Parable of the Wide Load".

Hope it helps someone else more than it helped us today!